It's been a while

It has been a while sice I have posted and some things have changed. I bought a house last year and my son moved in with me november of last year. He has got a few problems with his attitude but I think things are getting better. His mother almost ruined him by ltting him say and do what ever he wanted and now I have to be the clean up man which has been a pretty STRESSFUL job. Of course I will never give up on him and I know I can teach him respect for adults and how to appreciate the thing that he has. That is his biggest problem right now and it is very hard on him too because he is used to one way and now he has to get use to my way. Anyway things are good so far but the year just started so we will see.

More Thoughts

I really dont't know what to talk about and it has been a while since I posted anything. I read the 5th nail blog last week and it amazes me how creepy that guy was. If you don' know who I am talking about then you must not read the news but Joseph Edward Duncan III, the shit bag that killed the family in Idaho and kidnapped and raped an 8 year old girl and her 9 year old brother had a blog. If you didn't know what the guy did you probably wouldn't suspect him by reading some of the blog but towards the end he gets wierd. It really sucks that these kids had to go through this and he killed the little boy so now Shasta (8 yr old girl) has to grow up and try to have a normal life after witnessing half her family being murdered. It seems like the world is getting worse and worse but then I think, I really never paid any attention to the news until after I joined the Marine Corps so it might have always been this bad.

I have question, is it me or are kids having sex at a lot younger age? I had sex for the first time when I was 14 and that is young but there are girls out there that are that age and they have had sex 5 or 6 times already with 5 or 6 different guys. Girls are giving guys head in school like its not a big deal and that never happened where I'm from. I also went to a pretty small school so it might have been happening back then in the city but not as much as it does now. I used to be jealous and think "DAMN, why couldn't I have found those chic's when I was about 15 or 16 man that would have been great" but now that I have kids I think "DAMN, I hope that my daughter is NOT one of those girls that think that they have to "put out" to get a guy to like them.

Like I said I am just writing whats on my mind so take it or leave it.


PEACE

Just a small thought

If you are going to something that you know is wrong don't take pictures!!!

One more thing if you are going to talk dirty to a chic don't leave it on her voicemail. Man people are moron's now a days.

Another day blah, blah, blah!

Another day another dollar right? I don't know because I'm not doing anything. I just set this guys PDA up but there's nothing to that. There is no way that I will be doing this when I'm 35. I better have something going for me but it seems like I will never get there. I know it's no ones fault but my own and the World definitely does NOT owe me a living. I need to have a job that means something to me. I want to do something that's gratifying and this is not it. I know it could be because there are a lot of very, very, successful people in the technical world. Yes, they probably all started where I am at now but they did it when they were like 22 not 31. I have to go back to school or I am going no where. I need direction in my life. I have to do this myself and quit resting it on someone else's shoulders.

Divorce Crap

My ex wife got her phone cut off and now and can't call my kids. She won't give me her cell phone number and I guess she isn't going to get it turned back on. I am sure she blamed it on me not paying child support even though I haven't missed a payment yet. It comes out of my paycheck each month so I have really no control of it after that. My kids need new clothes and they need to quit getting their heads filled with lies. Josh is alway Dirty when I pick him up and he never has any new clothes on but his mother always does. She needs psychological help.

Kicking the habit

I need to kick the habit but the habit is so good, or is it? I don't know anymore. I don't know if I do it becuase I'm hooked or because I like the way it makes me feel. This is probably why I should kick the habit. I hate to blame my laziness and lack of effort on this habit but sometimes I wonder. I go to work everyday, I pay my bills, I pay my chid support on time and I always pick my kids up when I am suppose to. Big Deal right, there are alot of fathers out there that do this right? I never do it around my kids but my daughter is getting older and I know she has smelt it on my shirt before. One day she will be at a party and smell that same smell and then it will pop in her head and she will know. What will I do then? This is why I need to kick the habit so when and if she does confront me about it I will be past that stage in my life and I won't feel stupid telling her why she shouldn't do it. Man, I would be such a hypocrite and she probably won't respect my opinions ever again. People say that its not a big deal (and it might not be to them) but I think it is becoming one in my life.



Later

Man I make myself sick!

I say I'm going to do this, and I say I am going to do that, but I never do it. I finsh some things but I never take on the goals that I set for myself. When did I become the biggest procrastinator in the world? When did I let myself become so lazy and non driven? Man I suck hahaha. I need to snap out of this or I am going to be doing the same thing until Im 65. I will be making the same paycheck living in a measly apartment alone. No chic wants to be with a guy that just sits on his ass an does nothing unless he's rich and I'm not. Well, at least not yet but I am getting up there in age and its either now or never unless I hit the lottery......Yeah right!


Later